For this post, I wanted to try something a little different. I’ve written open letters to myself before: my younger and future selves. This time I thought I’d write a letter to people I’ve let down. At some point, we all let someone down and sometimes we don’t even realise we have. So this one is to all the friends that feel I’ve let them down.
None of us are ‘perfect’ friends no matter how hard we try to be. I know this because I’ve tried really hard to do that myself. It is an impossible task. I’m terrible at replying to messages. I can read a message, type the reply and then forget to hit the send button or read the message and forget to reply. Either way, it’s not a great trait that I’ve developed. I never meant to be rude or make it seem as if I was ignoring you. Chances are I really wasn’t doing either of those things. I’m sorry if you felt like I was.
I don’t attend every plan that’s made because sometimes I don’t want to. That’s the truth of it. I apologise if me not wanting to go out all the time has hurt your feelings. That wasn’t my intention. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable because I’m expected to go out with people I don’t know. That sort of thing freaks me out a bit because I do worry I’ll be left by myself the entire night. In that case, where would be the point in going? On the other hand, I am sorry if that made you feel like I didn’t want to spend time with you. I love spending time with all my friends but it can be hard sometimes.
I’m busy a lot of the time because I’m restless. After sitting around on my ass for the past few weeks due to an injury, I’ve come to realise how much I miss being out and seeing friends. Honestly, not sitting around and seeing these same four walls would be amazing. However, when I’m not injured I am just really busy. I work, I go to uni and I have a lot of relationships to try and uphold during that time. I try my very best to see all of you. Sometimes, finding the time is really difficult. I’m sorry if you feel I have no time for you. I try and make the time for you, I really do.
There’s been times when I should have been there for my friends more and I know that. I can be a bad friend and I feel endlessly horrible about it. I’m doing everything I can to always be there for everyone. It’s hard when you’re fighting your own demons while trying to open your arms to everyone else. But it doesn’t stop me trying. I still love you even if it seems like I don’t. The last thing I’ll do is give up on a friendship. I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve done that.
I’m aware this turned into an apology letter but that seemed most fitting. I never meant to let anyone down. All I can do is apologise if I have and be a better friend/person.