A letter to my younger self

Hope NYC

Me posing with the ‘Hope’ sign in NYC, 2016

Hey,

So I did a post about a letter to my future self a while back and figured writing one to my younger self would be cool, too. I’m not old at 21, but I’m a different person now to what I was then. I thought it’d be interesting to address those changes… Without further ado, here’s my letter to my younger self:

Well, younger me, you were interesting. You were troubled, I guess. It’s not that you were awful at school but you didn’t always play by the rules and you got into trouble a few times. Nothing serious though, so good on you. The one thing you wanted more than anything was to make your parents proud. That was it; it literally defined your school years. So you didn’t get involved in underage drinking, tried your best at school and did everything you could to show them you were better than they could’ve hoped.

‘Some days putting on a smile was the hardest thing you had to do all day…’

Family situations weren’t always an easy time, that was something you undeniably struggled with. Things went wrong a few times and it wasn’t always easy to be happy. Some days putting on a smile was the hardest thing you had to do all day because you just wanted to cry. But letting people see you at your most vulnerable wasn’t an option. I wish you’d known that it was ok to feel angry and hurt by the things that were happening. You deserved better.

Then there were all your friends getting in relationships which, looking back, was just crazy really. You didn’t need to be jealous or feel left out because them boys were a mess, hun. You didn’t need to be crying over any of that let me tell you. You’ve always been strong and independent and you were perfectly fine single. It took you a while to figure that out, but you got there. And now look, several years later and you’re in love. You never would’ve imagined that.

‘I just want to let younger me know that we’re getting there…’

You hated yourself. I know that. You never felt good about yourself because there was always somebody who was prettier, smarter, etc. There wasn’t a day that went by that you didn’t compare yourself to somebody else so your self esteem was in ruins. It got better, I promise. It has been a really difficult ride to accept that I’m not and never will be perfect, but I just want to let younger me know that we’re getting there. It’s a day by day process but we’re coping better than we were at 13, even if mental health is an issue.

You didn’t need to let those toxic people stay in your life. That’s been proven now that basically all of them are gone. You left school and those doors shut, then you finally felt at peace. You finally felt like all those nasty people had gone from your life. You’ve met a few more since then but they’re gone, too. You taught yourself a lesson back then that no matter what when you’ve been hurt once, you do not let yourself get hurt twice by the same person. Nope, girl, you just tell ’em bye. Send ’em packing cause you do not need that negativity in your life. Thank you for teaching me that. You’re tougher now and it’s better for you.

Don’t be afraid to love yourself before anyone else. Never let mean people distract you from your goals. Don’t give up hope that there are better things to come. You’ve got this.

So that’s that. I hope you enjoyed reading this letter. There’s another one I wrote to my future self as well if you fancied checking it out!

Until next time,

Luce xo

 

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14 Comments

  1. 09/04/2018 / 13:45

    Reading this reminded me of my high school years. A lot of ups and downs! If I didn’t go through them I wouldn’t be the person who I am now. I remember that I wrote a letter for my future self a while back but now I don’t know where the letter is. I’ll have to look for it and write a letter back!
    Looking forward to your future posts!

    • lhope884
      Author
      09/04/2018 / 13:56

      Thanks so much! That’s a really good idea! Drop me the link if you manage to find it and write the letter back would love to read them?

      • 09/04/2018 / 13:57

        Hahaha i will!! Or I might just write a letter to myself again?

        • lhope884
          Author
          09/04/2018 / 13:58

          Another good plan! It’s really therapeutic to write them actually. Really enjoyed writing both posts ?

          • 09/04/2018 / 13:59

            I’ll have to give your other post a read! Sometimes it’s just, kinda funny reading something from your past self, it’s like unearthing a time capsule of memories ?

          • lhope884
            Author
            09/04/2018 / 14:02

            Yeah too true, there’s just something interesting about reading where you’ve been in comparison to where you are. Sometimes I feel like writing about it is acceptance that things weren’t always great but that there were good times and life isn’t completely tragic ?

  2. 12/08/2018 / 18:59

    Loved this! I think we all go through that insecure age where we’re uncertain of most choices especially who we are! Don’t think I realised till 30 that it was ok just to be me ?

    • lhope884
      Author
      13/08/2018 / 16:01

      Yeah I know, it’s not easy being in your teens. It is definitely ok to be you!

      Thanks for reading,
      Luce xo

  3. 12/08/2018 / 21:07

    Oh goodness, not sure I would want to write a letter to my younger self! I enjoyed reading yours!

    • lhope884
      Author
      13/08/2018 / 16:02

      Give it a try, you never know it might feel like a relief to let go of some of it. Thanks!

      Thanks for reading,
      Luce xo

  4. 13/08/2018 / 00:54

    I have often wondered what I would say to a younger version of myself if I had the chance. This post was so well written, thank you for sharing!
    Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca

    • lhope884
      Author
      13/08/2018 / 16:05

      Take a look back, write down some notes and then give it a try! It’s really a cathartic exercise. Thanks so much.

      Thanks for reading,
      Luce xo

  5. 13/08/2018 / 04:08

    I love this! I think a lot of people can relate to the lessons you’re talking about; I know I can! Just subscribed 🙂

    • lhope884
      Author
      13/08/2018 / 16:06

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you feel you can relate to it, growing up can be tough sometimes!

      Thanks for reading,
      Luce xo

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